Once Again A Fraud - The Run Run Live Podcast

A few weeks ago, Chris Russell interviewed me for his Run Run Live podcast. As the two of us have spoken on-air a half dozen times, we did not prepare for the show. Instead, we decided to have an organically flowing conversation. In the past year Chris and I have both gone through major life crises. He lost his father to cancer in April and I have been struggling with my daughter’s depression and all that comes with it. Inevitably, the conversation turned to the effects these crises have had on our training and ultimately, we both shared how easy it is to feel like a fraud when your life is seemingly so public.

Sure, my readers know I am a mom and that my children come first always but you also know me as a marathoner and an Ironman, as someone who keeps putting one foot in front of the other and perseveres. But the truth is that for the past few months my biggest fear has been that I would run into a reader on the streets and they would see just how out of shape I am.

I have always struggled with weight but truthfully, after months and months of stress, I put my workouts on the back burner and it is truly showing these days. Even as I write this I cringe because it is not my first time coming here and telling you that I am going to get started again, that I am going to start eating right and making exercise a priority again.

But then I have to force myself to stop and think about what I would tell one of my readers if they were in the same boat. I have two choices, I can start from where I am and get healthier or I can wait, put it off, and start from a worse position. Will another crisis appear and knock me off track again? Maybe. But all I can worry about today is today. All I can do is focus on this workout, this day’s nutrition. What happens tomorrow is tomorrow’s worry.

After going back and listening to my conversation with Chris, I am once again reminded of what a small world this is and how much all of us can relate to one another. I do feel like a fraud for being a fitness writer and being overweight but I know that many people who are not fitness writers feel the same way. People who have run marathons or Ironman triathlons in the past who have fallen off the fitness wagon and are struggling with their self worth. In the end, most of us do not judge anybody as hard as we judge ourselves. In the end, we are all in this together.